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Exercise and Eat Healthy Food. I don’t need to tell you how important it is to take care of your body. Not only will it improve your chances with women, but it also helps you feel better. Read. You should always be learning. Strive to learn at least one new piece of information daily. Also, don’t be intimidated by the classics. Dig into the big books you didn’t read in college. Contribute. Every good man contributes to society in some way. Maybe you’ll volunteer your time at a local soup kitchen, or perhaps you’d like to join the Big Brothers club. Whatever the case, you should be offering your energy to make the world a better place. Leave your house. You’re never going to get better at talking with women if you spend all of your time inside (reading blogs about picking up women). Leaving your house is a must. Online dating can only take you so far. At some point you need to go outside and talk to someone. If you’re not doing the 4 things listed above, stop reading my blog*. Stop reading any blog about improving your life. You’re doing yourself a disservice. The list above will do more to improve your life than every self-help blog combined.
Self-help blogs aren’t inherently bad, and I hope you continue reading my essays. I’m just stressing the importance of taking action. †
The title of this blog post may seem counter intuitive. Aren’t people attracted to confidence? How can eliminating the ego help me get more dates? There are countless reasons why your ego is stopping you from realizing your full potential.
1. Ego stops you from taking risks. Most of us avoid risk. We don’t want to take a chance at being embarrassed or harmed. Valuable things in life involve risk. Romantically successful people take risks. You must be willing to fail. If you can learn from your failure you will begin to see improvement. Few people learn without failing first.
2. People enjoy talking about themselves– not about you. Talking about yourself to a stranger is boring. People see the world as it pertains to themselves. If you insist on talking about yourself you will alienate most people. The key to charm is being a good listener. Many of my clients have a hard time coming up with things to say to their potential mates. Usually she will drop hints on what she wants to talk about, but we are stuck in our heads, so we fail to see her clues.
3. A big ego will force you to live for others and not yourself. Countless clients tell me that they won’t approach a person who lacks proper social status. In effect they are more concerned about what society thinks of their partner than their own opinion. You shouldn’t be dating a person because your friends think they are hot. You should be with the person because of how you feel when you are with them. If you cannot ignore this urge to date someone based on society’s opinions you will continue to find yourself unsatisfied.
Losing your ego is the BEST first step to developing a healthy romance, and getting what you want out of life. There are a number of ways to drop your ego. We will cover them in the next post…